Nanette K. Gartrell and Esther D. Rothblum

in LGBTQ Divorce and Relationship Dissolution

Published on behalf of Oxford University Press

, pages 441-458
Published in print November 2018 | ISBN: 9780190635176
Published online November 2018 | e-ISBN: 9780190635190 | DOI:

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This chapter presents seven scenarios that illustrate how stressors can place long-term LGBTQ relationships at risk for dissolution, and discusses the strategies couples implemented to navigate through these challenges. We engaged in conversations with at least one person in a series of LGBTQ couples (diverse in race, ethnicity, gender, gender identity, geography, SES/income, education, and health/ability) that have been together for over 15 years. We focused on issues that frequently arise in the LGBTQ community, including (1) differences in outness, (2) gender identity, (3) polyamory, (4) rearing children, (5) money and status, (6) health, and (7) the role of ex-lovers. We then discuss effective strategies for maintaining relationships, including (1) acknowledging demographic and culture differences, (2) giving relationships time, (3) using community supports, (4) understanding gender differences in sexual activity and monogamy, (5) perceiving differences in money and power, (6) seeking therapy and legal advice, and (7) compromising versus issuing an ultimatum.

Keywords: Gay couples; lesbian couples; LGBT families; long-term couples; resilience; same-sex couples; same-sex relationship dissolution

Chapter.  7705 words. 

Subjects: Forensic Psychiatry

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